Because the twenty first century’s biggest poet, dril as soon as mentioned:
“im not owned! im not owned!!”, i proceed to insist as i slowly shrink and remodel right into a corn cob
At this level Mark Zuckerberg has accomplished his metamorphosis and is in full cob mode. It was broadly reported that Zuck took a nap throughout a Brazilian Ju Jitsu match in California final month, when he was choked out by an engineer from Uber. The referee reportedly known as the battle after listening to Zuckerberg loud night breathing on the mat, which tends to be a common signal somebody is asleep. There’s actually no disgrace on this. Everybody hates to lose, positive, however this was an newbie MMA match — and shedding is simply a part of the sport. It’s additionally superior that he’s attempting the game and getting one thing out of it.
The problem is: Wealthy individuals hate to lose. Billionaires actually hate to lose. The richest individuals on the planet, they identical to to faux the loss by no means occurred.
That’s the place we’re with Zuckerberg proper now, who’s on an all-out media blitz to try to persuade the world he by no means obtained choked out. This got here in response to a New York Instances article on Friday, which mentioned the Fb CEO’s exercise routine, with solely a passing reference to Zuck passing out — however this nonetheless obtained his ire.
Zuckerberg’s BJJ coach reached out to the Instances as quickly because the piece printed, insisting the referee “obtained it flawed,” and that the official even apologized for calling the match early. In the meantime the Zuck account of the incident is that his “loud night breathing” was truly “effortful grunting.”
Firstly: lol
Secondly: I by no means wish to consider Mark Zuckerberg and “effortful grunting” as a single thought
This has saved going although. When The Each day Beast requested in regards to the battle the Zuck camp was on a full court docket press to make sure the world is informed that Zuckerberg completely didn’t get choked out.
“At no level through the competitors was Mark knocked unconscious,” Elana Widmann, a spokesperson for Meta, mentioned in an e mail to The Each day Beast. “That by no means occurred.”
Methinks the tech billionaire doth protest an excessive amount of.
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